What makes a good storytelling rap song............?

and does my story have it.

rate, comment, tell me how to improve my storytelling.





I woke up this mourning mad, with severe headache in dome

Then came the fear, and out my ear I hear the phone

Things started getting scary, and I felt a little nervous

I picked it up it said sorry temporally out of service

Something real must wrong with head that's what I said

To myself as I fell and laid back on my bed

My radio turned itself on to a low playing instrumental

It was slow at first then a voice said, say away from that pencil

How did it know I was set to write a sick rhyme?

I jumped up grabbed my keys and jet out in quick time

Sloppy dress and very stressed, I felt like the main charter in a movie do

I turned around and in my chest was a guy his name Truly too

He said watch out for the ghost I think he's close over there

I saw the creature but then they both vanished into thin air

Along with the background, It was all blank and white there

I closed my eyes tight and woke up, I think it was a nightmare?



I pulled my head off the pillow and rub my eyes to wipe the cold out

I rolled my bed back into to a coach; I got the kind that fold out

Put on the Don Juan type dress I'm a guy for success

Only the best Sean Jean, never settle for less

I hurried quickly to the door, scurry out with my keys

Strictly thinking D's because I was bout to test in chemistry

I knew I was gonna to fail but at least I can write rhymes

That is if I'm able to make it back at the right time

I walked out into the world from my dorm and felt funny

I checked my pockets, was it fit to storm, I knew I had my money

Thought to myself what's this down feeling that檚 pounding me

I looked a round and there were a thousand people surrounding me

They were stans crazy fans autograph asking harassing

Turned around faces passing, and they change that was strange to me

Then I turned around again I heard a voice it was B. I. G

I looked quick this was utterly sick, butter fly fluttery, but it suddenly quit

He starting to spit evil shyt, what sound like one more chance but in a trance

%26quot;Your mind is playing tricks like Scarface and Bushwick, Willie D

Now I'm going to kill you like they murdered me%26quot;

My heart started pacing; sweat runs my face as I ran

He had on a mask on like Jason and a gun in his hand

I took off so fast; I was past the speed of light, blind

To the universe I ripped a tear in the space and time

Hoping I wasn't due a hearse but I felt dead, even worse

Then I fell into a black hole and closed my eyes landed in my bed

It was all a dream, I woke up twice, it was all in my headWhat makes a good storytelling rap song............?
its very good

BUT

its more like a poem then a rap

8-10

STAY UP MAN!What makes a good storytelling rap song............?
I say it is between a 7.5-8.5





Biggie was trying to attack you.LOL!What makes a good storytelling rap song............?
It was good. If you want to get better listen to C.R.E.A.M. by Wu Tang or Children's Story by Slick Rick. Those songs just make you feel right there in the story being told. I don't know how, but they do. Nas is also good at this. Just tell it like you were gonna tell a homeboy (in rhyme form obviously).