-save a cow, eat a vegetarian
-i'm invisible to blind people
-I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha!
-Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
-If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hutt
-All you need is a sick mind and a healthy body.
-Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
-Oh sure. But what’s the speed of dark?
-What’s another word for Thesaurus?
-Don’t miss today worrying about tomorrow.
-I think therefore we have nothing in common.
-With my life I could be on all of Oprah’s shows.
-Computers help us to do stupid things faster.
-Welcome to California. Now Go Home.
-Don’t Californicate Oregon.
-My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
-If you always take time to stop and smell the roses…sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee.
-GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN
-All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets .
-Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot themPuritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
Auntie Em, Hate you; Hate Kansas; Taking the dog. –Dorothy.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
I am not a bum - My wife works
I am not unemployed I am a consultant
I’m out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
Don’t Start With Me. You Know How I Get.
A good day is when the **** hits the fan and I have time to duck.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Humpty Dumpty didn’t fall…he was pushed.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most!
Are you stoned or just stupid?
I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
If the music’s too loud you’re too old
Subvert the Dominant Paradigm
My karma ran over my dogma
Chicken Little was Right!
Born to Shop
We’re Spending our Kids Inheritance
If you’re rich, I’m single
I want to die in my sleep like grandpa. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car!
Montana - At least our cows are sane!
According to my calculations the problem doesn’t exist.
Friends don’t let friends drive naked.Funny sayings?
LOL. they're funny. this is my personal favorite though:
I want to die in my sleep like grandpa. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car!
it's a 9.5 heheheFunny sayings?
hahaha ii like em! they are very funnii!Funny sayings?
you get a 10 so funnyFunny sayings?
you left out
There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.Funny sayings?
How about : You're just jealous because the voices talk to me! My anger management counselor really pisses me off! When I snap, you'll be the 1st to go! Eat more G.R.I.T.S. (Girls raised in the South!) Heavily medicated for your protection! Girls suck -- bless their hearts! You had some pretty good ones there. I'd give an overall rating of 8.
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