?your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
? you have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
? your firehouse has wheels.
? you've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
? Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk.
? you've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground.
? at least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January.
? your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.
? you don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.
? you've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
? your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
? your department's name is misspelled on the equipment.
? your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.
? dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.
? the local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.
? your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.
? you've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
? your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
? your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
? the only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the %26quot;United States Redneck Special Forces%26quot;.
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
YOU ARE A REDNECK IFΖΖ?.
?None of your shirts cover your stomach.
?You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
?You judge drive time solely by the number of beers you need to take.
?You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
?You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
?Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
?You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
?You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
?You own a homemade fur coat.
?The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
?You think the stock market has a fence around it.
?You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
?You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
?You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
?You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
?You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
?Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
?Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
?You think genitalia is an Italian airline.
?You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
?You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
?Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
?You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
?The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
?Your father executes the %26quot;pull my finger%26quot; trick during Christmas dinner.
?The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.Are you a redneck fireman?
GM(_!_)O!!!!
Being of the redneck persuasion, I found these pretty funny! Some of the redneck jokes refer to me and my family I am sure! Not the fire fighter ones, the regular ones!
Me:
he bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it. (At the moment, it is pretty much worthless!)
our Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare. (I did not need it yet, I was only six months along!)
My husband:
ou believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law. (he is smart enough not to let my mom know he feels this way, but dumb enough to have told me...)
ou think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
our stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater. (they did not really, but if could get them...)
ou take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. (father/son outing)
Our son:
ou carried a fishing pole into Sea World. (he was only 5 but we thought it was cute!)
ou take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. (father/son outing)
our father executes the %26quot;pull my finger%26quot; trick during Christmas dinner. (His dad executes this anytime and everytime!)Are you a redneck fireman?
Thanks for the BA, sugar! Hope you have had a great weekend!
Hugs!
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Are you a redneck fireman?ROFL !! Oh My Gosh These were GREAT. I am laughing so hard I almost had coffee coming out of my nose. LOL. (shhhhh Kentucky born lots of family there. Raised in Washington St though but its in my blood LOL).
Thanks Jake. xx Sugar bugAre you a redneck fireman?
lolz!!!!
p.s. - I used to go to the Salvation Army! Sally Army Barmy Army! Awesome people lolzAre you a redneck fireman?
HilariusAre you a redneck fireman?
HilariusAre you a redneck fireman?
LMFAO!!!!US southern folks wouldn't mind open season........=)Are you a redneck fireman?
The Redneck special forces joke was the funniest thing. I thought I was going to pee my pants I laughed so hard LOL.Are you a redneck fireman?
Are you sure your not from around here, you know us way too well!!!!!!!!...oh, you forgot about louisiana....we should be included in the soldier one!!!!Are you a redneck fireman?
Hi man good but keep short.because when it's too long hummer is gone only reading.Are you a redneck fireman?
LOL, these are so funny. I am no redneck.Are you a redneck fireman?
oh my these are well funny.!!!..xx
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